Why practice difficult asanas, if the practice of yoga is to be something other than an ego-driven endeavor? Because in the act of doing something challenging, we are compelled to become more present in the moment. In doing something new, we gain an opportunity to break out of our habitual and unconscious patterns. We create an opportunity to learn how to choose inquiry over achievement.

Challenge yourself in order to become more present, not to feed your ego

However, the danger in practicing challenging poses is that the exercise can deteriorate into cementing our ego’s dominance. We are tempted to sacrifice our inquiry into mindfulness for the ego-gratification of accomplishment (or the ego-bashing of failure). But skirting the danger of succumbing to ego-gratification (or ego-bashing) presents a powerful opportunity: every time we trigger our ego we have an opportunity to diminish its excessive influence.

This week we will explore challenging poses with the firm intention of NOT trying to accomplish anything. We will practice these poses to simply engage in the act of inquiry. We will focus on becoming more present in what we do, without goals, without attachments, without the desire for achievement.

Try it now: Choose inquiry over achievement

Sit quietly for a minute with your eyes closed, just observing your body and spreading your awareness. Then do a few cat/cow warm-ups and finally come into a Downward Dog, lengthening into the pose for 5 breaths or so. On an inhale, lift your right leg while keeping your hips level, then exhale and stack your right hip over your left hip while bending the lifted knee. This spinal twist is sometimes called Scorpion Dog. Notice how your left armpit collapses in the attempt to lift your hip higher without actually having to twist your spine, and then lift through your left armpit to bring the shoulders back towards level. Noticing your collapsed armpit as well as your lifted knee, and choosing to lift the armpit means to choose inquiry over achievement. 

Release the heel of your standing foot down towards the floor by turning your toes OUT slightly. Rooting through the heel will help with balance in the next stage, the ego-triggering stage of the pose. Come onto the fingertips of your left hand and start moving the left hand towards your left foot. Move your hand in a semi circle along the floor, rather than a straight line. Move the hand very slowly, in 10 cm (4 inch) increments or so, pausing and observing after each move.

What triggers your ego in this pose is the knowledge that your left hand is “supposed” to reach your left ankle. I want you to notice your mind racing towards that goal and observe what happens. Depending on your level of flexibility, that knowledge may trigger a desire to rush ahead and grab the ankle right away, or it may trigger negative thoughts about your perceived lack of flexibility if grabbing the ankle is out of the question. 

It’s the journey, not the destination

Now listen carefully: Grabbing the ankle is NOT the point of this exercise. The point is observing how inquiry so easily deteriorates into an ego exercise (either ego gratification, or self-flagellation, depending on your flexibility, strength, and balance), and then to CHOOSE to stay simply with the inquiry and to refrain from blindly following your ego. Even if you can reach the ankle without falling out of the pose, I want you to NOT do that today, but to practice becoming fully present in whatever (supposedly imperfect) variation of the pose you find yourself.

Notice how hard it is not to want to grab the ankle. Then turn your mind to the actual sensations of the shape that you are making. Notice the left hand on the floor, perhaps gradually moving towards the left foot, but never reaching it. Through your focus on the actual sensation of this moment, become more fully present and find joy in this moment through choosing not to follow your ego. 

Self-criticism reinforces the ego’s dominance

If reaching your ankle with your hand is out of the question, I want you to observe your mind’s response to this realization. Can you let go of your habitual self-criticism, which is just another form of ego-centrism? Can you let go of the endless refrain of “I am not good enough”? Knowing that you cannot reach your ankle, can you be at peace with wherever you are, finding joy in the sensations of the moment, finding joy in teetering on the edge of your balance? Can you find joy in turning your world upside down and placing yourself in a strange shape that requires your full awareness not to fall out of?  Can you find joy in simply feeling your breath in this moment in time?

After a few breaths, slowly walk the left hand back to the front of the mat. Lower the right leg to return to Downward Dog and take a few smooth, deep breaths. Then repeat Scorpion Dog on the other side while prioritizing inquiry over achievement.